Colourblind
by aaronlisa
Summary: No matter what Alec does, he can't seem to escape from the shadow of Max or Ben.


**Disclaimer:** _Dark Angel _belongs to James Cameron and company.

**Notes:** Set post 2x21 _Freak Nation. _

When he first sees her in Los Angeles, days after he's arrived, he can tell right from the start that she's a transgenic and that she's definitely related to Max. The first is because of the way that she moves; all of the X5's seem to have certain fluidity to their movement that sets them apart. And the second is because she looks like Max, not identical like Sam does, but in a way that that makes him think that she might be Max's biological sister.

It makes him think of Krit, who arrived in Terminal City a few days before he left. They're not identical but with the three of them have the same eyes, the same full lips and the same shape to their face. For a brief moment it makes him wonder if he has any biological siblings out there but he dismisses the thought for the flight of fancy that it is when she starts to move toward him.

Her dark eyes are wary and mistrustful and he wonders if he will ever escape from the shadow of Ben's past. Just where didn't his clone go and stir up trouble with his insanity? He sighs in irritation as he stands up and leads her to the bathroom; thankfully it's empty so they can have a few moments alone. He turns around and kneels so that she can inspect his barcode, so she can have physical proof that he might look and sound like Ben but he's not. Her quiet gasp tells him all that he needs to know so he stands and faces her.

Over the next few days, they meet at the bar and they share parts of their histories with one another. Both of them are guarded and he knows that she's holding parts of her past from him just like he is with her. Finally one night, the inevitable comes up when she asks about Max. Her long-lost sister, the one that he's trying to escape.

_Zach knew where she was but he never told me. _

_A place called Terminal City in Seattle. _

He waits for her to leave with the information that she now possesses, but instead she stays and doesn't press him for why he left, just what Max is doing there. Even in LA, rumours have trickled out of Seattle.

He's strangely grateful that she doesn't ask why he's left, not that he'd tell her the truth if she asked. The truth would mean that he'd have to admit that he gave up. That he finally realized that Max would only ever see him as her brother. That he could want her, need her, love her and he'd only ever be Ben's carbon copy.

He had stayed long enough in Terminal City to see her joyful reunion with Syl and Krit, which was long enough for him to see just how colour blind Max truly was when it came to her family. How she only saw them as siblings, even when it was clear that the rest of them had shrugged off that particular childhood mantle. She even knew that Syl and Krit were a couple in every sense of the word, but to her they were her merely her siblings.

Two days later, Jondy's invited him back to her apartment. In the candlelit darkness, he can almost pretend that she's Max.

_Zach always used to pretend that I was Max. He didn't think that I knew but I did. _

Her voice is heavy with unshed tears and he wonders just how fucked up she truly is. Especially if she's willing to let someone else use her again just because Max can't let either of them love her like they want to.

_I'm not Zach and you're not Max. _

The words are out and it's true. He can pretend in the almost dark that she is Max but he knows that he won't and that he doesn't want to pretend. If he had wanted a substitute for Max, he would have gone to Canada and hunted down her clone.

They don't speak as they slide one another's clothes off with their hands and mouths. In the dim light, he can see the differences more clearly than he can in the full light. And he briefly wonders how much of a fool Zach was, before he loses himself in sensation.

_Maybe I should go to Seattle. _

It's early morning, before dawn, and she's sitting naked by the window with her arms wrapped around her legs. He's wide awake at her soft words that seem to pierce right through him.

_You could go. I'm sure that Max would be happy to see you. _

_What about you? _

_I'll survive, I always do. _

She falls into silence and he doesn't feel the need to say anything more. Her hair is longer than Max's and the shade is lighter, and her skin is much paler than her sister's. It's as if she rarely sees the light of day, and it strikes him that perhaps she doesn't, it's not as if he knows very much about her.

_Are you gonna leave? _

He can hear the unspoken _Zach always did _at the end of her question. Part of him hates Zach with a passion since all he seemed capable of doing was hurting the young woman in front of him. He slides out of the sheets and he walks over to her before he sits beside her.

_Do you want me to leave? _

_No. _

Her answer is whispered and without the genetically modified hearing he probably wouldn't have heard her. He pulls her into his arms and wonders what he can really do for her. He's just as damaged underneath the surface as she is. Maybe it'd be better for her to go to Seattle where she can be surrounded by her unit, her family, but he's selfish. He doesn't want to leave and he doesn't want her to leave either, and he realizes that she needs him just as much as he needs her.

_I'll stay. _

_Me too. _

Let Max build her transgenic utopia amidst the toxic waste of Terminal City with White and his cult breathing down her neck. He's not that interested in saving the world or even his own kind. His concern has always been himself and now it includes this fragile young woman who's been spurned for Max.

END


End file.
